on first and fierce affirming sight of sunlight (sunlight, sunlight) #1 [abbott - avanine]
“I asked you a question,” Janine said. It was unusual that her voice would take on this tone. Demanding wasn’t something she was used to or comfortable with. But she needed it. “I want to know why you did that”.
And by that Janine meant kissing her at the club. They were at the club, again. And Ava was there, again. Janine was dancing with Erika, trying to make the alcohol in her blood work to make her less anxious when she felt a different hand on her arm. It took a moment for her to realize it was Ava pulling her to dance.
“What are you doing?” Janine had asked, as she let Ava guide her to stand impossibly close to her.
“I’m dancing with you.” Ava had simply asked. “Don’t overthink, just feel.” Ava had said in her ear. Janine had closed her eyes, letting Ava guide her movements. She felt Ava’s hand on her cheek, caressing softly. Her eyes had opened slowly. It felt very dream-like as she saw Ava close the gap between them.
Ava’s lips were soft against Janine’s. They kissed for what had felt like an eternity and a second. And then Ava had gone away. Left the club and Janine was left wondering what she had done wrong.
Now, Janine stood in front of Ava, in her office. Janine had waited till school was over; and she was honestly surprised she had been able to catch Ava in her office, when the woman was usually out of school before everyone else.
“I’m waiting for an answer.” Janine said, her arms crossed in front of her. Ava looked like she got caught committing a crime.
“How should I know? I was drunk Janine. Drunk people do crazy things.” Ava laugh it off. “Don’t think too much about it.” In Ava’s mind she knew she was lying, she also knew she was good at lying at people. Janine’s face fell. She wanted an explanation. But she didn’t want to hear that the kiss had been meaningless. And Janine, unlike Ava, couldn’t hide her emotions. Her face gave away her thoughts and feelings. Ava regretted her words immediately. Janine looked defeated.
“Janine,” Ava had called, before Janine had got out of her office. “Did you hope to hear something different?” Ava asked.
“Yes?” Janine answered, unsure of what was happening.
“My house, tonight, let’s say at 8. Can you show up?” Ava asked. Janine’s face lit up.
“A date?” Janine asked, but before Ava could confirm it, she continued, “Yes, yeah, I can.”
“Don’t make it weird.” Ava warned, before gesturing for Janine to leave the office. Ava smiled to herself thinking again of the kiss. Ava hadn’t been drunk at all, but Janine didn’t have to know that.